Life after divorce sometimes feels a series of messes being made with no end in sight. Sometimes it feels like all the decisions you made in the past were just plain wrong and they’ve lead you to a place you couldn’t ever imagine your life being. You probably didn’t go into parenthood with the plan of ending your marriage or relationship, moving into a new home and seeing your kids less than 100% of the time.
It can feel pretty overwhelming when you look back at your life after divorce and the troubles you have caused your now future self. You might find yourself in heaps of attorney debt, credit card debt, unstable living arrangements and fights with your ex. Not to mention, being a single parent means now getting even less support and free time to nurture yourself during this hard transition into Single Parenthood.
When you lived with your ex, you were able (at least hopefully some of the time) to get a reprieve to take a yoga class or go for a jog on your own. But now, as a single parent, your day is spent juggling taking care of your kids, your home, your job, and yourself without a spouse to lend a helping hand. To put it bluntly, life after divorce can start off pretty rocky.
If you’re like me, you really do not enjoy the feeling of becoming a divorced and now a single parent. The feeling of breaking up your family, moving into unknown territory and going at it alone can be overwhelming to say the least.
Here’s 5 Things to Remember When You Feel Like Your Life is a Mess after Your Divorce:
Your kids love you more than anything in the whole wide world!
That’s right, and don’t forget it. You are their rock, their light, their inspiration and their source of eternal love and joy. You mean the world to your kids, and no matter what they will always love you.
You have the power to make your life great!
Nobody can take away your joy and happiness if you don’t let them. You have the power to create the life you want and deserve, you just have to go out there and get it! If your life isn’t the way you want it to be right at this moment, then take the first step, and then the next step, and the step after that…. and get to where you want to be! It’s that simple.
You are a good person
If you are the type of person who puts your kids needs before your own, you take care of others, you are kind, loving, giving, caring and nurturing to others, then remember: You are a good person! You’ve hit the jackpot to have the opportunity to life this life as a good person. Hard and sad things will happen in everyone’s life, but good people always have the best lives!
You get to choose the way you feel
Sometimes feelings can be overwhelming, especially during times of transition like divorce, moving to a new home, starting a new life and being out of your usual surroundings. But, remember, you get to choose how you feel in every moment. Can’t stop being angry about something you ex said? Take a mental note about that feeling of anger, and then remind yourself that you can choose to be angry in the present moment, or to think about something else, like how cute your kids face is when they’re trying to get you to buy them some ice cream.
You are doing the best you can do
We all do the best we can do, even if it doesn’t seem like it sometimes. Sometimes our BEST is the weakest version of ourselves. Sometimes our BEST is winning the gold medal. It changes every day. But, I do know, that if you love your kids and are trying to make their life great, then you are truly doing the best you can do and you deserve a high five because you are an awesome parent.